Saturday, 22 September 2007

The MOBO Awards and an extra-special Amy Winehouse mini-essay


It has become a tradition that every year me and my mum stay in and watch the MOBO awards. To be honest a lot of the music really is incredibly low-quality rubbish - in fact that is not true, all of the music by Ne-Yo is incredibly low-quality rubbish. But what makes the MOBOs great is the awfully rehearsed banter between the co-hosts and seeing Sunita wearing the same dress she wore performing 'He's Gotta Be So Macho' on Top Of The Pops.
Here's a full list of the award winners:

Best UK Female - Amy Winehouse
Best UK Male - Dizzee Rascal
Best International Act - Rihanna
Best Song - Ne-Yo 'Because Of You'
Best UK Newcomer - N Dubz
Best Video - Kanye West 'Stronger'
Best Hip Hop - Kanye West
Best R&B - Ne-Yo
Best Reggae - Sean Kingston
Best Gospel - G-Force
Best DJ - Tim Westwood
Best Jazz - Soweto Kinch
Best African Act - 2face Idibia

Last night on national television Tim Westwood surpassed himself in being a complete moronic fool. He won the MOBO award for Best DJ, as voted for by users of irritating socila network Bebo. The average age of Bebo users must be about 13, and considering that the other nominees (George Kay, Jigs, Rampage, Ras Kwame, Ronnie Herel, Semtex, Shortee Blitz, Steve Sutherland and Trevor Nelson) nobody had heard of, the award should have been called DJ Most 13-Year-Olds Have Heard Of. As Westwood is announced winner, the whole O2 Arena is booing, and his acceptance speech consists of "Yeah innit this is my third MOBO I'm still the best fuckin DJ in the UK and if you don't like that you can fuck off!". I am not going to bother with some kind of witty retort about this.

And despite the fact that Amy Winehouse was nominated for just about every award she was elegible for, she only got one - Best UK Female. Her acceptance speech consisted of "Fankyou. Err... 'Ello, fankyou. Fankyouuu!" and then some wild gesturing. Her live set was coherent, the tune was adhered to but she seemed to be struggling to remember the words. It just seems sad watching the best singer of this millenium drink her way to oblivion. Thing of any of the 'greats' in soul music, and not one of them wrote songs as good as her, if they wrote at all. Amy is unique, the flaky alcoholic with the broken heart, combined with the 'live fast die young' attitude of a punk - and the sad thing is that like so many before her, she probably will die young. Which is just horrible really, if you think how much potential there is for an old lady Amy Winehouse.

Oh and Heat Magazine, LEAVE AMY ALONE SHE'S A HUMAN BEING. Seriously though, the constant barrage of 'Amy Winehouse is dying of not having enough body fat' is becoming annoying. She used to be more curvy but has lost some weight. It's because apparently she used to get through about forty quid of weed every week, and since quitting she no longer has constant munchies and now goes to the gym about four times a week. Which means she is now a bit on the skinny side. The end.

Here's some tracks from her first album, Frank. Way back when she wasn't what could be described as a 'strangely sexy transexual pirate hooker'.

DOWNLOAD: Amy Winehouse - Fuck Me pumps
DOWNLOAD: Amy Winehouse - Take The Box
DOWNLOAD: Amy Winehouse - Help Yourself

3 comments:

Sam___ said...

haha Tim westwood is a muppet!
Did you know he's the son of a bishop?
He shouldn't be allowed to say the things he does.

Sam___ said...

haha Tim westwood is a muppet!
Did you know he's the son of a bishop?
He shouldn't be allowed to say the things he does.

Flo said...

ha ha can't believe N-Dubz got an award! we saw them at a sixth form social in classy hatfield and they actually mimed! still im fine with all these crappy bands from st albans getting famous cos i can say ive seen them :)