NEWS NEWS NEWS

BOLT ACTION FIVE IS DEAD.

I am sure in a few years one of them will be an folk-pop singer songwriter, and the twelve-year-olds of now will be the sooooo up-to-date Bolt Action Five fans of tomorrow.

LYKKE LI'S ALBUM IS REALLY GOOD.



I like it a lot more than I thought I would. i think the steel pans or whatever they are in 'Little Bit' put me off a bit but there's some real gems on it. My favourite has to be 'Complaint Department' which is all sort of moody minimalist techno and sounds like it was produced by Kraftwerk of something.

CUT COPY'S ALBUM IS REALLY GOOD.



Apart from the weird noises in between songs - literally the last 35 seconds of 'Out There on the Ice' and the first 14 seconds of 'Lights and Music' should just be cut. They are horrid.

CRYSTAL CASTLES' ALBUM ISN'T OUT.



Which is weird, because usually all their stuff is released in the UK first. On the other hand they are now on a canadian label, and it's not like it matters, seeing as I have all the mp3s anyway, which will do me fine for now. 28th of April is, I think, the UK release date.

TREVORBROWNCRYSTALCASTLESMADONNABLACKEYEGATE.



OK, they completely ripped him off and he now hates them, which is fair enough from his point of view. But I am not capable of feeling any sympathy for a man who earns a living making this sort of stuff. Seriously, do not click that link. I think I am actually glad they were such utter bastards to work with (Trevor Brown has now given up trying to get payment from them) because I am really not sure how I would feel wearing my CC/TB shirt if i knew that my money was going into that man's pocket. To label him as a paedophile would be unfair, but he clearly has a lot of unresolved mental health issues, as do his fans. I can't remember where I saw this or who wrote it, but to quote/paraphrase an unnamed blogger/internet lurker, "Madonna is going to owe Trevor Brown a lot of money if she ever gets a black eye".

THE PRESETS' ALBUM IS PROBABLY GOOD BUT I HAVEN'T HEARD IT

Apart from 'My People', which is a bit like having your head stamped on but definitely in the good sense.

I'M GOING BANKRUPT



My recently discovered sense of not wanting to illegally download everything I listen to is not sustainable, I am going to have to either
a.) rob a bank
or
b.) make a cool band and sell loads of t-shirts with a stolen Trevor Brown design.

You Have No Idea What You Are Getting Yourself Into

(artwork by me)

Does It Offend You, Yeah?'s debut album dropped today. Buy it. It's a horrible mish-mash of of rock, electro and, surprisingly, pop. The first three tracks are all pretty heavy stuff, but at number four, 'Dawn of the Dead', it goes all indie-pop and conventional. Although not necessarily the best track on the album, probably the most inventive would have to be number six, the brilliantly-titled Attack Of The 60 Ft Lesbian Octopus. It's a two minute instrumental that is just begging to be the theme to a low-budget eighties sci-fi film of the same name.

Important People in The Film Industry: if you managed to make $2.7 billion from a film based on a theme-park ride (according to wikipedia anyway) then just think how successful this film could be. And, er... give me some of the money, thanks.

DOWNLOAD: Does It Offend You, Yeah? - Attack Of The 60 Ft Lesbian Octopus (zShare)

I quite like comix too, actually

Time to pretend I'm part of an American superblog! Franki Chan, Superstar DJ/President of Blog/Record Label IHEARTCOMIX has been very busy making a mixtape. I know I only just posted about one mixtape, but this one is seriously too good to wait. It's one second short of an hour and includes 19 tracks, 10 of which are completely brand new IHEARTCOMIX tracks, 8 of which are exclusive remixes made just for the mixtape by RADIOCLIT, FLOSSTRADAMUS, DESIGNER DRUGS, MIAMI HORROR, MANO feat HOLLYWOOD HOLT, TOM NEVILLE, LIES IN DISGUISE and LA RIOTS and 2 other originals just for the mixtape by ACID GIRLS and HEARTSREVOLUTION. Here's the tracklisting:

1. ACID GIRLS – Intro Track
2. THE GLAMOUR – Respect The Party
3. THE TOXIC AVENGER – Pokerface (Lies In Disguise Remix)
4. HEARTSREVOLUTION – Switchblade (LA Riots Remix)
5. OCELOT – Lo Sforzo (St. Andrew Remix)
6. MATT & KIM – No More Long Years (Radioclit Remix)
7. HEARTSREVOLUTION – C.Y.O.A. (Flosstradamus Remix)
8. HAIL SOCIAL – Heaven (Designer Drugs Remix)
9. GAMEBOY/GAMEGIRL – Fruit Salad
10. MATT & KIM – It’s A Fact (Printed Stained) (Mano Remix feat. Hollywood Holt)
11. PROTOKOLL – Moving Forward (Designer Drugs Remix)
12. THE DEATH SET – Negative Thinking
13. TOTALLY MICHAEL – Winona (Miami Horror Remix)
14. HEARTSREVOLUTION – Dance Till Dawn
15. ACID GIRLS – Matter Made
16. SURKIN – White Knight Two
17. THE TOXIC AVENGER – Stage Divin’
18. OCELOT – Our Time (Tom Neville Remix)
19. FUTURECOP! – Starworshipper

DOWNLOAD: IHEARTCOMIX RECORDS REMIXED - FRANKI CHAN MIXTAPE (zShare)

The 8 new remixes are going to be surfacing as separate mp3s soon enough, one that I personally cannot wait to get my hands on is the the LA Riots Remix of HEARTSREVOLUTION's 'Switchblade'. I think it's an undeniable fact that it's very special. And here's something not on the mixtape they also sent me:

DOWNLOAD: Toxic Avenger - Escape (LA Riots Remix)

And everyone's Myspace:
myspace.com/lariotsofficial
myspace.com/dreamburger
myspace.com/heartsrevolution
myspace.com/officialjuiceboxxx
myspace.com/mattandkim
myspace.com/ocelotmthrfckrs
myspace.com/protokoll
myspace.com/oxycottontail
myspace.com/toxavanger
myspace.com/thisblush
myspace.com/totallymichael
myspace.com/thefuturecop
myspace.com/surkin
myspace.com/gameboygamegirl
myspace.com/thedeathset
http://www.myspace.com/mattandkim

Oh and seeing as I've mentioned HEARTSREVOLUTION a few times in this post, does anybody know where this came from? It's some kind of remix/mash-up that's about 90% CYOA and 10% Love Will Tear Us Apart. Who made it? Where can I get a lovely 320kbps mix of it? I NEED ANSWERS!

Un mixtape pour vous et aussi un chanson avec un piano

32 double DJs are three 16 year-olds and they want to spin some vinyl at as many gigs as possible. If you're a venue/promoter/dictator of a small foreign country, email them now. They're very nice people too. Probably.
They've got a fair few mixtapes on their myspace available to download, but everybody hates the nasty 96kbps myspace compression, so here's a lovely zShare link to their 'Electro House' mixtape. It's short and sweet, here's the tracklist:

New Jack (Steve Angello Mix) by MBG and SDS
We Run This (Duke Dumont Remix) by Missy Elliott
Enur Ft Natasha - "Calabria 2007 (Hatchmatik Clubabria Remix)"
Stuck on Repeat By Little Boots
Like This Like That (Count of Monte Cristal Remix) by SE:SA
Put Your Hands Up For Detroit - Fredde Le Grand
Perfect Exceeder by Princess Superstar
Out At The Pictures by Hot Chip
Polkomatic by Vitalic

DOWNLOAD: 32 Double DJs Electro House Mix (zShare)

oh and seeing as it's on there and everybody loves it at the moment:

DOWNLOAD: Little Boots - Stuck on Repeat (zShare)

***BONUS: Little Boots - Stuck on Repeat (Acoustic) (YSI)

I won't post the Hot chip dub version because I don't like it. But if you think you might - knock yourself out.

(For more about Little Boots, check her Myspace or read this interview at ohhcrapp.net)

Album Review: Crystal Castles

Today the Crystal Castles album dropped. I am currently wrapped up in a duvet on the sofa on the laptop, having spent most of last night vomiting into the bath. My original plan of preordering it off Rough Trade sort of slid off the to-do list at around the same time I found an entire leaked copy of the album as a zip file, after searching google for 'Crystal Castles album' to find the release date. At some point I will probably roll up to HMV and buy it anyway.

The album is 16 tracks long and includes a massive range of different styles. Because daytime TV is not what it used to be, here's a track by track review of the album.

01 Untrust Us
This song could be described as beautiful. It's strange and ethereal, like some kind of alien opera.
02 Crimewave (Crystal Castles vs. HEALTH)
An old favourite. It's a bit contraversial I'd say to put a remix on an album, but with HEALTH basically saying how completely in love they are with Crystal Castles at just about every oppurtunity they can get, it's not as if they are likely to object.
03 Alice Practice
Listen to this on headphones as you walk down a busy street and try to not imagine you are Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator. YOU CAN'T.
04 Magic Spells
The thing with these subdued sounding tracks is that they can sound almost more scary than the more 'thrash' songs. and the video makes it even worse.
05 Xxzxczx Me
AIDS ROBOTS
06 Air War
This song is incredible fun.
07 Courtship Dating
How Timbaland can claim to not have stolen the backing music from this is a miracle.
08 Vanished
A remix of Van She's 'Sex City', I am told. I have to say I prefer this to the original.
09 1991
I'm sure this used to be called 1983
10 Good Time
the only track that does nothing for me. A poor bit of album filler if you ask me.
11 Love And Caring
Step into the shower. Turn the shower on. ARGH that's not water that's tiny shards of broken glass pouring out the shower ARGH I'm bleeding everywhere.
12 Knights
My five year-old brother said this song makes him think of monsters and the monsters are scary.
13 Through The Hosiery
This is basically a pop song that Girls Aloud or something could have done. And that's a good thing. I might be wrong and it might all be sorted on the actual album, but the vocals in this song seem to be a bit too quiet. And the last verse just fades out which is annoying. Otherwise, good.
14 Reckless
BEST INSTRUMENTAL CC SONG EVER
15 Black Panther
The tune is brilliant, but the vocal effects are a bit distracting. It was quite charming on the old tracks where the awful sound quality was due to the band using old broken microphones, but these effects here are just sort of distracting from the actual content opf the song.
16 Tell Me What To Swallow
What the hell? It's a bit of a cliche to have an acoustic track at the end of an album, butI think the idea of Crystal Castles conforming to a cliche is probably more surprising than them not. This really is not a brilliant song, but the bizzare soundscape just adds to the dizzying effect.

OK that was rubbish but I'm ill so you'll have to forgive me. Most of the new tracks are better recorded in the vocals, but also stylistically different in that none of them are really shouty thrash-rock. Which is OK for on the one album, but let's just hope it's not a decided change in direction for the band. More scariness please.

A Thought

Why is it that I still feel disappointed that I'm not going to SXSW, when it is blatantly obvious that there was never any chance of me going? I feel genuine upset that I will not be attending. What is wrong with me?